What really is death?

Hello all, I am just sitting her at my mother's house and wondering what is really is to die. This probably sounds so way out there but I am wondering that because for the last 2 days I have been sitting here with my grandmother and waiting for it to happen. As I have been here there has been many moments when I have wondering where the heck GOD is and why is he making my grandmother suffer so bad. As I have been asking myself these questions I also find myself wondering how we can love someone so much,yet be so willing to take them for granted. These questions have been eating at me and eating at me all weekend. This women I am sitting here with,holding her hand,rubbing lotion on her legs and arms has been a rock in my life and I am having so much pain it is unreal. My grandmother is and always will be an amazing women. This women has done for me what my parents could not. She has given me so many memories and stories to tell. How can I say goodbye, yet how can I convince her to let go. She is not the grandmother I remember. I look at her laying there breathing so shallow and looking in the corners of the room and sometimes just smile as if smiling at whomever she See's in that corner. She is so fragile and frail. And I just wish GOD would take her and let her be at peace. I know that she is in so much pain and is in a place she never wanted to be. COMPLETELY DEPENDANT. Is is so strange to me that we come into this world completely dependant, grow up live life and as we get old we become completely dependant. WOW. This is so messed up to me. I am trying my hardest to find comfort in it all but I can not seem to find it. I also keep feeling guilty because of those times where I sit in there with her and keep telling her to let go. I wish I knew what she is thinking when we all tell her that. Does she know we are telling her this because we love her so much and want her to be rid of all this pain, or does she think we do not care. I know this is complete rambling but I needed to get this out, whether it made sense or not. I feel so alone yet so surrounded at the same time. I hope that this women dies with some pride and dignity and I am so hoping it will be soon. Until then it is just waiting and remembering this women I m so proud to call MY GRANDMA... I love you grandma and we will be OK, just let go and go be with grandpa. You have made us all the people we are today and no matter what we know you are proud. You have nothing to worry about we learned everything we need to know from you. Your teaching is done go home and dance with grandpa . Love; Cami